11/25/2011 Friday 1030. Days Without Wife: 48
Went to my sister’s place yesterday for Thanksgiving. They had quite a spread. I was supposed to work at Hanalei Pizza, but Carlos told me not to come in. He and I had a blowout on Monday, and then when I went in on Wednesday to talk to him, we had another fight.
Looks like massage school is out. I suppose I should be thankful for the tiff with Carlos. I had doubts in my ability to make it through the school, and the fight just confirmed my fears. Fact is, I can’t do it without his support, and it looks like his support his wavering.
What can I say? I’m an asshole. I’m stubborn and hard-headed. I always find a way to fuck up the opportunities that are presented to me. The way this world works, you have to sell out to be successful. I suppose I’m too proud to achieve anything like success.
Text from Molly yesterday wishing me a Happy Thanksgiving. Then when I checked my e-mail on Butterfly’s computer, there were two e-mails from her, sent 3 days ago. She finally responded to some e-mails I had sent her at the beginning of the month.
Hi Jake,
I apologize that it has taken me a few weeks to respond to your email. Please know that my motivation is not to punish you. Your words in your emails sometimes come across as manipulative and mean spirited and they are hurtful to me. Therefore, it makes it difficult for me to want to communicate with you when that happens. I appreciate that you reached out to me on the phone to apologize for coming across harshly in your email.
I am saddened by the fact that you are requiring me to send you back my engagement ring to you in exchange for signing the divorce waiver. My understanding from our phone conversation was that we agreed to pursue the simplest and cheapest route to dissolve our marriage. I am unclear what your motivation is for wanting the ring back now. Refusal to sign the paperwork I sent you will change our divorce from uncontested to contested by the State of Texas and will require a more complicated and expensive process. I do not wish to fight you or to make this process any more painful.
At this time I prefer to hold onto the ring and not have it used as a bargaining chip in our divorce. It was a gift that you gave to me when we became engaged and I prefer not to give it back to you at this time.
Please let me know if your decision about getting the ring back prior to signing the waiver is still what you are requiring so I know how to proceed.
Thanks,
Molly
She wants to keep the ring. I’m not surprised. She’s materialistic and greedy, so I suppose she’d like to sell it and take a trip to Napa with her friends or whatever. Maybe I’m silly to expect it back. It’s funny how it took her this long to say it outright, that she’s keeping the ring. Before, when we had talked about it, she let me think I was getting it back. And I’m supposed to be the manipulative one!
Hi Jake,
I acknowledge that our relationship ending is extremely painful and hurtful to you. Thank you for acknowledging that it must be painful for me as well, as it has been.
I sincerely thank you for reflecting on the ways that you hurt me and our marriage and for apologizing for specific offenses in this and other letters. I forgive you for the wrongdoings to me and our marriage.
I am glad to hear you are making steps in your life to live differently, that you have set some goals yourself and that you are working hard. I am grateful that you have made friends and have a mentor to walk alongside you during this time.
I encourage you to continue to seek God and to know Him by meditating on His Word. I pray for you daily that God’s forgiveness because of Christ’s death will wash you anew so you may experience true joy and hope as you seek after Him. I pray for your safety and for provision.
Molly
Proverbs 3:5-6
This really disturbs me, when she tries to minister to me or whatever. She’s done it several times before. As a Christian, I find it offensive when an obvious hypocrite quotes Scripture or tells me they’re praying for me. It’s not cool. I’m trying not to be angry about it.
I’m feeling pretty low today. I can see what’s happening to me. I’ve been fighting it for awhile, but this is going to end badly. I’m just not strong enough. I’m tired. I miss my wife. She broke my heart.
